dream---hope---threat/crisis---trust/control

having raymak has changed my life in so many ways.
all parents make changes when they have a child.
your sleep changes, your eating changes, your priorities change
life is different.

i love every change that has taken place in my life in the last 2 years!
i quit smoking, trying to quit cursing, i don't go out
(don't get me wrong....not judging anyone who does those things---ha!)

our pastor pete willson just wrote a book - plan b
i haven't read it yet, but i have heard his messages surrounding the subject
and i am thoroughly enjoying the series he is teaching right now called shattered dreams!

last night at church i was listening to pete and thinking about my life.
you start with a dream
with your dream comes hope
then you face threats and crisis (testing that hope)
that brings us to the point of trust or control
do we trust God to see us through to our dreams
or do we try to take control of the situation,
trying to make it happen the way we want it to happen,
when we think it should happen?
after the service i asked pete if he thought that it was as easy astrust or control........

i told him how in my life i lived in threat/crisis constantly for many years.
truly i believe that there was not trust or control on my part.
to be honest.......i didn't care.
it wasn't worth it to me to do either or.
i have been through some rough times in my life.
some i am not proud of.
some i am extremely proud that i had the strength to survive.

looking back and looking at my life now........
there is not a choice for me.
with raymak in the picture i have to trust.
it is impossible for me to control.
i can't not care any longer - that was always my cop out.
it is not as hard as i always thought it would to be to just enjoy life.
trust that we will be ok.
trust that we are loved by many.
trust that we will not only survive life, but survive with purpose!
and enjoy everyday of it!