busy.......so much to blog!

we have had a crazy busy week and i am finally starting to get caught up!
rachel had her 6 mons check up
and she had a reaction to her flu shot
more later and lots of pics to come!

fun at cheekwood

we had a great day yesterday!
a great walk with dakota and indigo,
a long lazy nap,
and an afternoon of exploring cheekwood botanical garden
with our friends vicki and trace!
it was a beautiful day!
we walked around and enjoyed the scarecrows on displays!
then we found a creek.....
trace and rachel loved it!
trace cracked us up.....he was ready to dive in (lol)
he splashed, crawled, kicked and was soaked!!
rachel was a little more dainty....lol
she wasn't sure about it at first, but then she liked just having her toes in the water!
after the creek adventure....
i got a sweet pic of her on a picnic table.
she fell asleep in the wrap on my chest as we walked through the japanese garden.
it was so much fun!
we love our walks with vicki and trace......
vicki and i were talking about how they are really 6 mons apart,
but right now it seems so drastic.....yet they will be in the same grade!
it's crazy!

after cheekwood we stopped for yogurt......yum!
it was a great day......very relaxing.
life is good and we have such great friends!
i am so grateful!

grandad

i am sitting here and i can't stop thinking about my grandad!
he is such a great man and love him more than he will ever know.
raymak and i were able to visit back in july....
the big 90th birthday!!!
it was so nice to be back in his house
eating cookie crisp, doughnuts and cantaloupe
going to church, seeing old faces
it all brings back great memories....
and to have him meet my daughter meant the world to me.
it makes me sad to know that she will not know him in the flesh
(but i promise you she will hear lots of stories about what a great man her great grandad is).
he is my hero and i respect him more than any man i have ever known.
being at his birthday party, talking to his old friends, seeing people who know, respect and love him come and wish him a happy birthday or to say thank you was amazing!
he is so loved by his community!
he makes me proud!
so many stories and incredible feats of kindness represent his life!

there is so much i could say and maybe i will later.
i just want to say how much i love him!

loving life

i am sitting here ready for bed
watching this baby sleep

so many things are going through my head
sometimes it's so frustrating......
i have such a great baby and i am so blessed
she is
happy,
peaceful,
fun,
smiley,
sleeps through the night,
eats great,
doesn't spit up,
rarely cries,
is very laid back
and so enjoyable for me!
i want to tell everyone how great she is!
then i realize,
some people don't have it as good,
not all babies are this easy (i know!),
some can't have babies (i was told that too),
some have lost babies (i know that pain),
i have to check myself
and hope that i am sensitive to other situations.

this is kinda my safe place to brag!
it's crazy!
i sit here feeling guilty for typing these things,
for feeling these things,
for being so happy,
for enjoying life,
for loving this baby!
but then i stop.....
my life use to suck!!! (understatement!)
i lost more babies then i care to tell you....
i lost all hope
i had no joy
i felt no love
my heart was broken
i lived in loneliness
i had completely given up.
- let me tell you........that is a horrible place to try and live.

all i can tell you is this.....
now i believe in myself
i am stronger than i ever imagined
i know that i am loved
i found hope
my joy is restored
my heart is healed
loneliness is gone
and i was given a beautiful gift on top of it all!

when i tell you this baby is a miracle.........you really have no idea!
now i am going to go to bed and be thankful for great friends, a fabulous baby girl! and bask in the beauty of where i am now in my life....God is Good

reflecting

after this great 4 day weekend we've had
i am exhausted, but happy!
sitting her watching my baby girl sleep
so soundly,
so peacefully,
so beautifully,
it makes me grateful for my wonderful life.

we had such a great weekend full of raymak first....
of course i had no camera to document,
but i will try to pull some off my phone.
friday.....
such a great day of laziness.
naps, walks and raymak's first picnic!!
saturday.....
enjoyed the neighborhood's farmer's market
great food, music, sights and smells!
fun with friends over tacos,
more napping and dog walking!
raymak sat by herself today....
no mommy needed, until she falls over...lol
sunday.......
went to early church, came home and held sweet raymak in my arms
while she took a nap......
moments like these remind me why i love nursing
stopping to hold this precious girl,
look into her eyes,
rub her soft cheek,
kiss her forehead,
hold her tiny hand,
examine her very being......i am in awe that i made her
she is part of me....
so unique and special!
every inch of her amazes me.
i love it when i really stop and enjoy her like this,
because it is going by so fast.....
i don't want to miss a moment!
we went back to church and taught the 2 to 5 yr olds.....they crack me up
kids are hilarious and so real.....they make me smile!
then we enjoyed some cracker barrel....
apple strudel french toast, eggs, sausage, biscuits and gravy
DON'T JUDGE ME!!!
i'm a nursing mom!
raymak sat in a highchair for the first time!
when we came home she took a nap......
while she napped i made homemade veggie soup....
blueberry muffins and cornbread.
did some cleaning and organizing.
i took my neighbor a bowl of the soup
and she shared her peanut butter cookies!
what a great night.......and it rained!
and raymak had apples for the first time......they were a hit!
monday.......
we were lazy this morning!
walked the dogs
napped
did laundry
cooked
met tiffany and tori for lunch....
cleaned......made my own floor cleaner!
(trying to be eco friendly, baby safe, money saving, and a good person!)
took a meal to a family at church
walked the dogs again
made bottles
washed dishes
packed my lunch (budget!!!)
bathed my baby
fed dogs
fed baby
did a little work
blogged
now it's time for bed!!

life is good........

raymak's first picnic

we had a lazy day today......
it was great!!!
woke up,
walked the dogs,
took a bath with raymak,
took a 3 hour nap,
walked the dogs again,
then tiffany called.....tiff is my bff
(more about her later)
she called and wanted to go have a picnic!
raymak was asleep again,
so i packed up the bag and we left when tiff got here
we found a great spot
ate some great food
(raymak ate some mashed bananas)
had a glass of wine
and talked about life, this baby and boys!
tiffany is such an amazing friend
i love spending time with her
talking with her
listening to her adventures and dreams.

so, the story of tiffany is this....
we became friends 2 years ago.
we met where we work.
we get each other.
when i found out i was pregnant
i was prepared to lose a great friend.
but that didn't happen.
i asked her if she would be my "person"
when rachel was born
(she hates the title birth coach......lol)
funny thing is i was really nervous about having to rely on a friend
for such an important event.
she owed me nothing and had no responsibility in this,
so i kept giving her an out.....
the reality is it was the best thing ever!
my friend shana was my labor and delivery nurse
and tiffany was my person.
it was just the 3 of us!
then 4~
it was amazing,
calm,
not stressful at all,
peaceful,
perfect!
when i started pushing
shana said "i need you to push really hard"
i did (i thought)
then tiffany says....
"that face is not convincing me that you are pushing hard enough. you need to push harder"
REALLY!
the shana says "i have to agree!"
REALLY!
i am alone with these freaks telling me i am not pushing hard enough....
they are my support.......fuck!
it made me laugh!
once raymak spilled out into the world
tiffany and i looked at each other and cried......
it was amazingly beautiful
and amazingly perfect!
she was there every step of the way.
i didn't lose a friend, i gained a more amazing friendship!

all of that to say it was a great first picnic with raymak and tiffany!
we are going to have so much fun hangin out together.
life is good
raymak is sleeping
i am not far behind!

inspired to blog

after deciding that blogging was a great idea,
to leave a story of our lives
the joys,
the excitement,
the frustration,
the hurts,
the laughs,
the tears,
and the beauty of
doozledoorf and raymak's adventures.....

our story is crazy....
after many miscarriages
the arrival of raymak was more than just a miracle.
single, not planned....

Serendipity the effect by which one
accidentally discovers something fortunate,
especially while looking for something
entirely unrelated!

and so our journey begins.............